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I tried my hand at the game enough
But I ain't lucky when it comes to love
I want it all but I never wanna wait
You...
To steal him's been your number one ambition
But sister here's one safe that you don't have to crack
I'll hand him over under...
I sat bored at my piano
When he walked into the bar
When he nodded from his table
I said I know just how things are...
Don't waste your time givin' me your reasons
Let's skip the ceremony of goodbye
Let's get down to the part where you are...
Another lonesome night
Staring at the sky
But I don't help to ease an aching heart
The man up in the moon
Keeps...
I'm not afraid of growing old
Or dying young or never finding someone
And I'm not scared of the great unknown
Or being...
It breaks my heart to see
That you're unhappy here with me
The hurt you've tried to hide can't help but show
I could...
Nobody but a fool would love you
After the way you've done me
Broke every vow you made me, broke every rule
Who'd lie...
All the boys he played cards with
Couldn't wait til he came
But they haven't seen him
Since I got his last name...
I spent all day long just slavin' in the kitchen
I wanted everything to be just right
Yeah, the table's dressed with all the...
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I called him for days, he didn't answer the phone
I drove by his house, I knew he was home
A week's worth of papers and mail in the box
I thought he was dead, I picked the lock
I found him in tears in the dark on his knees
With a hole in his chest where his heart used to be
And he said...
[First chorus:]
Don't call the doctor, don't call the nurse
Call for the lady with the alligator purse
She knows the spell to lift this curse
Go find the lady with the alligator purse
In an old stone house off 21st
I found the lady with the alligator purse
She answered the door, said I know who you are
She lit a candle, consulted the stars
When I saw her closing that reptile's hide
I asked her point-blank, is my friend going to die
And she said...
[Second Chorus:]
I'm not a doctor, I'm not a nurse
I'm just the lady with the alligator purse
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst
So said the lady with the alligator purse
She said, look at what happened to Cleopatra
When she didn't take my advice
And Romeo, Juliet, they didn't get it
Too bad, those kids were so nice
By the time we got back to my pitiful pal
There was no sign of life till he saw the alligator
Purse on her arm, the gleam in her eyes
She opened the bag, there was nothing inside
She said, there's no secret, it's love that I use
I just carry this bag because it matches my shoes
And she said...
[Third Chorus:]
Don't call the doctor, don't call the nurse
Don't call the lady with the alligator purse
Love is the magic of the universe
Take it from the lady with the alligator purse
Love is the magic of the universe
Take it from the lady with the alligator purse
The lady with the alligator purse
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